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I knew it was childish but I couldn’t seem to grow out of it. He was several inches taller than me with short, dirty blond hair that was a little disheveled. It looked like it would be curly if he let it grow longer. He had broad shoulders and nicely muscled arms that I could appreciate because he had on a short-sleeved tee. Lord, how I loved a man with strong arms… I had to remind myself to be a big girl and make eye contact as I asked him a few questions about medications. I felt like a shy teenager, not a 29 year old woman. I explained that I would bring his paperwork back to the doctor and left the room. When I got to our area in the back, Jess was the only person around. I looked at her questioningly and she sighed. ‘He went to see that case that came in through emergency since you weren’t back yet.’ ‘Oh for Christ’s sake! I wasn’t gone that long! Would you write this up for me then? It looks like scabies. I’ll go get some samples and kill time so this poor guy doesn’t feel. And it was here that Jeevika excused herself and went to get ready for bed. And now, as she lay listening to the sound of occasional cars passing on the street, she imagined what it would be like to meet with someone just to have sex with him. No strings attached. After all, those other one-night things — those were only confusing because they’d had different expectations going into it. In this case, they’d both know that it was only for this satisfying their strong sexual urges. But only for one night? It seems like it would take many times to get to know each other and please each other. Jeevika began to imagine the things she’d like to do, to have done. It was difficult for her to imagine it being mutual. Sex, for her, was a distant dream of at least the pursuit of something deeper than two people simply pleasing each other. She imagined Jeevan cold and absent, using her body as if she were not in the room. And then there was the issue of his age. There were 22 years between them..
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